Everything in Fragments
by MomentousMinutiae
Summary: Disillusioned with the bureaucracy of C-Sec, Garrus Vakarian teams up with Commander Shepard, a heroic force of nature, to save the galaxy. When reality begins bending around the pair and a new, darker, renegade version of Shepard replaces the paragon it is up to Garrus to put the pieces back together. Covers the events of Mass Effect 1 and some of 2, w/ plans for 3 as well.
1. Prologue

Garrus Vakarian had to admit that life had become much simpler since Commander Shepard died. The other thing he had to admit was that he no longer wanted simple. He found himself yearning for complicated like a drowning man yearned for air.

One mundane day at C-Sec melted into another. It was like he was living in a fog. He felt numb. It was nothing like chasing Saren across the galaxy with Shepard. During that time he had truly been alive, everything had felt so vivid and exciting. Now his existence felt like a cheap imitation in comparison. It was driving him mad.

"We did some good work today, Vakarian," McClaine, the human officer who sat at the desk next to him, said. Garrus had been exceptionally moody since he'd learned the fate of his old Commander and McClaine had been working hard to bring him out of his funk.

"Sure, yeah. Good work McClaine. See you tomorrow," Garrus replied. He really did try to be nice to the young officer, but it was difficult to tell how successful he'd been. Probably not very, he figured. He packed up his gear and went to wait for a fast transit to his apartment.

He regretted everyday that he hadn't stayed on the Normandy after they had dealt with Saren. If he had been there maybe Shepard wouldn't have been spaced. Maybe she would still be alive and things would still make sense. When Garrus laid awake at night he replayed her death in his imagination over and over again. He imagined the adrenaline racing through her veins, the burning pain as the air escaped her lungs and then her glassy open eyes as the last flash of life left them.

Shepard just couldn't be dead. She was too vital, too _important _be dead. Damn it, she was was supposed to save the galaxy, wasn't she?

Garrus sat on a chair in his tiny, spartan apartment on Bachjret Ward, his feet up on the bunk. He looked at a News Vid he had saved on his Omni-Tool. This had to be at least the twentieth time he had watched it since the first time he'd seen it, however long ago that was.

_"Omega - The Most Crime Ridden Place in the Terminus?" _the reporter asked.

Suddenly he heard footsteps coming down the hall and he tensed up as he realized he recognized them. It was Shepard. Shepard was here. She had come back for him. Finally. She was here to save him from his life. She was here to save him from himself. He saw her armor, it flashed blue to red and then back to blue again. Seeing her made him feel whole again, like there was still some hope left in the universe.

Garrus opened a single eye. His vision was filled by the News Vid on Omega replaying on his Omni-Tool again. That _dream _again. _Damn it. _He felt ill as the realization fully set in. It had all been in his head. Shepard was dead, and she wasn't coming back. It's funny how you don't appreciate how much something, or _someone _means to you until they're gone. Shepard, the dichotomy of a woman that she was, had become his best friend and the person who meant the most to him. He missed her bravery, he missed her face, and he even missed her inability to drive the Mako without crashing it.

Things had to change. Working for C-Sec wasn't keeping him together anymore, and he wouldn't even _think _about joining the Spectre program. He saw her everywhere on the Citadel. The ghost of her permeated his every thought.

He packed up a few of his belongings into a duffel: a rifle, some rations, and some extra clothes. After an elevator ride that seemed to last forever he finally arrived at the Ship Docking Bay.

He saw a human man in coveralls loading the last of his crates onto a ship. He eyed Garrus's C-Sec armor warily before asking, "Need something officer?"

Garrus readjusted his duffle over his shoulder, "Yeah. This isn't official business though so calm down," he slowly drawled. Garrus gestured toward the ship, "That heap is headed to Omega right?"

The man awkwardly stared at Garrus for a long time before responding. "…Maybe."

"Well _maybe_ I have 10,000 Credits for anyone willing to take me to Omega, no questions asked," Garrus leaned in and lowered his voice to let the man know he was serious.

Later, Garrus looked out the window of his small cabin. The space was built into the side of a cargo compartment on a old Kowloon freighter. They were almost to the Mass Relay. He didn't know exactly what he was going to do on Omega yet, but anything had to be better than how he had been living. Omega was full of mystery and danger, things he would need if he was ever going to start the process of getting over Shepard's death. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to get over her death. He wasn't even sure if he was capable.

After the decidedly long trek from Council Space to Omega in the Terminus System, Garrus still hadn't made any plans beyond, 'helping people find justice.' When he laid his eyes on the grimy asteroid he was about to call home his mind was whirling with thoughts. His best friend was dead. He had no idea what he was doing with his life. He had no real plan, no real direction. He was about to move onto 'the most crime ridden place in the Terminus.'

"Hell," he smiled to himself as he set foot on the station. "At least I've still got my looks."

* * *

**A/N: Hey there, this is my first time writing fan-fiction and I'm excited to be writing in the Mass Effect universe! I am super stoked to see what you guys think, so feel free to leave reviews as you read. It will keep me writing and inspired!**


	2. Chapter 1- Paragon

The first time Garrus Vakarian saw Commander Shepard on the Citadel, he hadn't thought much of her. Sure, she was statuesque for a human, but she didn't leave a strong impression. To be honest he hadn't gotten a very good look at her. She'd been wearing a helmet that obscured most of her features. She was flanked on either side by even less notable humans, one male and one female. He had heard on the News Vids that the Citadel Council was considering giving Shepard Spectre status, and he immediately recognized her signature blue N7 armor.

Garrus was feeling on edge as he saw her for the first time. His boss, Executor Pallin had just said the words Garrus had been dreading to hear, "Your investigation on Saren is over Garrus." Pallin walked away without another word.

He felt his frustration brimming over as he turned to the Commander. He approached her without a thought as to how she might react to him. Garrus was single-mindedly grasping at ways to keep the investigation of Saren Arterius open, and Shepard seemed like she might be his last hope.

He appraised her carefully. Garrus would have thought that the first human Spectre candidate would be more… Menacing? Intimidating? As they spoke she seemed downright pleasant. Maybe the fact that he was feeling resentful because Executor Pallin had pulled him off the Saren investigation colored his view of her.

"Good luck Shepard," Garrus told the Commander before she and her comrades headed to their meeting with the Council. She was going need it. It seemed to him that Saren was untouchable, and that idea made him feel helpless. Garrus _hated_ feeling helpless.

Two thoughts struck the C-Sec Officer as he watched Commander Shepard walk away. First, he hoped the Council would see some Goddamn sense when Commander Shepard spoke to them and second, he was probably never going to see her again.

* * *

Garrus headed to a meeting with Upper Wards resident Dr. Michel at her clinic. She had some information that she would only share with him and then only if he came alone. When the doctor called him there had been a quaver to her voice that worried him, so he was in a rush to see what might have caused that quaver. As he approached, he noticed some men entering the clinic ahead of him. His stomach dropped when he realized they were some of Fist's men, and not one of them looked sick.

Fist was the owner of Chora's Den, a seedy establishment near the Markets on the lower wards, and he had his fingers in every unsavory activity on the Citadel. Garrus had always wanted to take the rug out from under the crime boss, but he would have to settle for taking out a couple of his thugs instead. It would tide him over for a while.

He drew his pistol and sought cover against the wall, quickly side stepping along it as the lackeys went through the clinic entrance. The officer drew in a deep yet silent breath before crouching down and stealthily entering behind them. He stayed down as he crossed the space to the low room divider, careful not to make any extraneous noise. He needn't have bothered, because as soon as Fist's men reached Dr. Michel they were speaking loudly enough to mask any noise that might have given him away.

He was about to launch his attack when he saw a flash of movement behind him. The door was opening! More of Fist's men? No - It was Commander Shepard, this time joined by the female human from earlier and a Krogan. With Shepard's sudden entrance, one of the outlaws took Dr. Michel hostage, putting her between himself and the Commander's readied shotgun. Before Garrus could let his mind wander to where Commander Shepard had found herself a Krogan to help her, he realized the diversion the Commander had unintentionally given him was perfect for his purposes. He sprung up and smoothly took the corner, his pistol raised and at eye level. As soon as he had the Doctor's captor in his gun's sights he exhaled and coolly squeezed the trigger. No doubt, no hesitation, only precision. Dr. Michel shrieked as she was covered by a wave of crimson from the thug's forehead.

After he and the small Alliance crew had mopped up the thugs from rest of the room, he looked toward to Dr. Michel expectantly. The Commander was handy to have in a fight, that was for sure. Garrus was fairly confident he could have taken the group on his own, but he wasn't going to scoff at the assistance.

When Shepard approached after the fray, Garrus noticed she wasn't wearing her helmet this time. She had glossy black… fringe? He had never taken the time to learn what that part of a human was called. It framed her face, going down to her chin.

"Perfect timing, Shepard. Gave me a clear shot at that bastard," he said with pride. He had always been the best shot in C-Sec.

Garrus wasn't well versed in reading human expression, but from the furrowed forehead and downturned mouth he could guess the Commander was not pleased. "What were you thinking? You could have hit the hostage!" She wasn't pleased at all. In fact, she was _pissed_.

Garrus felt an instant pang of shame. More than a pang actually. "There wasn't time to think!" he explained. He checked on Dr. Michel, still feeling the heat in his face from the guilt of placing her in danger. Why did he care? He had gotten the job done. The doctor was safe. Right? Oddly, he found that he didn't ever want to be on the receiving end of Commander Shepard's disappointment again.

* * *

After that first confrontation in the clinic, Garrus requested a spot on the team that would be infiltrating Chora's Den. The Commander hesitated a bit, but agreed after he sold her on his sniping abilities. Shepard left behind the female in white armor, (Ashley was it?) and took the male, whose name he hadn't caught, to deal with Fist. With the Commander's biotic capabilities it took almost no time at all to cut down all of the men defending Chora's Den. Garrus found himself impressed that she let the warehouse workers (who were obviously civilians) go when they threatened her with pistols. She just talked them down… and she made a joke while she was doing it. Garrus kicked himself mentally for his earlier assertion that she didn't leave a strong impression. She was proving herself to be quite a compelling and competent leader. Much more effective then any of the bureaucrats at C-Sec anyway.

It was like clockwork. Garrus taking down the last of Fist's defenses from afar with his sniper and Shepard unleashing fierce biotic blasts, then spraying the stragglers with her shotgun. He had forgotten all about the human man in his party. He felt like it was only him and Shepard on the battlefield, steadily advancing, taking down attackers as soon as they rose. He found himself enjoying fighting with her, their abilities complimenting each other brilliantly.

He didn't agree with Shepard's decision to spare Fist. Fist was a racketeer, a murderer. He didn't deserve to walk away from his crimes. Garrus inhaled to object to Shepard about it, but slowly let out the admonition as he decided it would be more prudent to keep his mouth shut. Shepard didn't strike him as the sort of leader who enjoyed having her decisions questioned on the battlefield. By the time they got to the Quarian and neutralized the men holding her, Garrus's reservations didn't really matter. He'd had the stunning realization that he wanted nothing more than to continue covering Shepard's six as long as she needed him.

While the Commander's team headed to the Normandy to debrief the Quarian, he hung back for a moment, considering his next move. It didn't take long for Shepard to notice. "I'll be right back," she told the rest of the ground team.

Shepard jogged back to his location. "What's the deal Vakarian? Tired from all the action you saw today?" she said with a bravado that caused a smirk to twitch onto Garrus's mandibles.

"Not even a little, Shepard," he attempted to match her tone, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was just thinking about the last few days. I'm leaving C-Sec."

"What? Who's going to be fighting the good fight on the Citadel to bring Saren down?" She arched a single… what was that called? The bristly little thing over her eye. He was going to have to study up on human anatomy if he was going to be working with them. He guessed it was roughly equivalent to his primary supraorbital plate. Anyway, Shepard arched one of those things at him.

"I can't do anything about Saren here at C-Sec! He's long gone by now. If you let me come with you I can keep lending you sniper support and have a chance at actually catching the bastard!" he said with a passion that made Shepard's eyes widen with surprise. He became a bit self conscious as he brought up the request that was burning in his chest. "I would like to join the crew of the Normandy. With your permission of course."

One side of her mouth curved upward into a smirk - not unlike an Asari actually. "I like your guts Vakarian. Sure, you're in. We can use all the help we can get." He didn't understand why Shepard liked his internal organs. He'd look up the meaning later, along with a growing list of human related phrases and jargon. Nevertheless, he was pleased by her reaction.

Exhilarated by the possibility of serving justice in his own way instead of being stifled by the never ending rules and red tape of C-Sec, he blurted out something he immediately regretted. "Without C-Sec Headquarters looking over my shoulder, maybe I can get the job done _my way_ for a change."

Shepard's face contorted into an expression that Garrus read as cross. It wasn't unlike the look she gave him in Dr. Michel's clinic. "If getting the job done means endangering innocent people, then no. We get the job done right, not fast. Got it?"

He immediately snapped out of his earlier overzealousness. "Yes Ma'am."

She could really switch her tone quickly, couldn't she? And she was so uptight about the rules. Garrus wasn't sure he if he liked it or not. He was leaning toward _not._

* * *

Commander Shepard wasn't sure if she had made the right decision in bringing Vakarian and Wrex on board the Normandy. She was even having second thoughts about the Quarian, Tali'Zorah, who didn't even _seem_ threatening. Shepard didn't have anything against aliens per se, but she wasn't used to working with them, and they were a unknown variable she wasn't sure if she was up to dealing with.

With The Council finally recognizing that Saren was an actual threat to the universe and the chase to find him heating up, Shepard figured she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Sure, she had permission to investigate on her own and was free of the rules in Council Space, but she couldn't help feeling resentful that The Council wasn't throwing more of their weight behind her. Everything she had warned them about had come to pass, right? Whatever, they'd learn to trust her eventually. They'd have to. It must be a bit strange for them to be dealing with a human Spectre. Even more than the resentment, she felt a need to prove herself. And she would do it with as few casualties and broken rules as possible.

There was a voice in the back of her head that told her things would get done faster if she used the full potential of her Spectre status, but that part was dwarved by an even greater sense of pride from walking the straight and narrow. Rules keep people alive, and every life is precious. The hair on the back of her neck bristled with the rise of an unbidden memory, but she quickly tamped it back down. This wasn't the time to be lost in self-reflection.

It may be a cliche but Shepard knew it was true: absolute power corrupts absolutely. Nothing proved that better than the Ex-Spectre, Saren. She would never become like him. Never.

Vakarian in particular scared her a little. While Wrex seemed like he had an violent streak, it was so typically Krogan. Heated anger that could be focused and used to get the job done. Wrex didn't mask his emotions for anyone, which made him a bit of a loose cannon, but at least you knew where he was coming from at any given moment. Garrus's anger on the other hand lay just below the surface, seething. You could see it in the spark in his eye when he talked about prosecuting Saren, in the set of his jaw as he fired his rifle at an outlaw, or even when Shepard had to dress him down to make sure the two of them were on the same page.

It didn't help that while she understood the tones and inflections of his voice, his very alien Turian face was incredibly difficult to read. She had begun theorizing what the different brow movements and mandible flicks meant, but it was an arduous process full of guesswork. She did have an instant sense for what his eyes implied though; the various squints and winks weren't unlike a human's. The two species had spent the last couple decades interacting and the Turians had to be familiar with the Asari. It would make sense that some body language would cross pollinate. Human and Asari expressions weren't dissimilar, since most of the important facial features were in the same places.

Maybe she should get him off the Normandy and into a mission. Give him something to keep his mind his preoccupations and his rifle pointed in the proper direction. Therum was first on the agenda. They needed that Asari scientist for insight on Saren's right hand woman, Matriarch Benezia.

* * *

Garrus turned to face Shepard as soon as she was off the cargo bay elevator. "Need something Shepard?" His voice resonated in her ears, it was like two vocal chords working as one. It had a certain tone that came off as unforced and languid and very intentional.

"We're hitting up Therum soon and I want you on the ground. It should be a pretty cut and dry pick up." She tried to project a tone of authoritative but hoped she didn't come off as too impersonal.

"Really? I figured you'd take Alliance on the first mission," his voice continued to vibrate in her ears. Shepard found herself a little jealous of the sound it made. Her own voice felt hallow in comparison.

"Yeah, I thought it would be a good chance to get your feet wet." Garrus paused for a moment and Shepard took this as confusion. "It means, to experience something for the first time," she explained gently not wanting to make him feel bad for his inexperience.

Garrus coughed uncomfortably, which made her smile. There was a universal reaction. "I knew that."

"Did you?" She grinned wryly.

"Well… No. I did just install a program on my visor that has human customs, turns of phrase and other vernacular, though. That should help with this kind of awkward interspecies miscommunication thing," he tapped at his knuckles in a way that Shepard thought probably incited embarrassment.

"Didn't you pick up anything from C-Sec? Humans work there right?" She leaned against the Mako. Might as well get to know this guy a little before hitting the field with him again.

"Yes but… I never did partner up with Humans very often, and while they have a growing presence at C-Sec, the main force is still mostly Turian. Plus there is the fact that you guys have so _many_ bizarre idioms," he looked straight into her eyes as his body language shifted from self-conscious to confident, "It's hard for a devastatingly brilliant Ex C-Sec Officer to keep up." That was the first time she had seen him lay on the charm like that. She smiled, all white teeth and kindness.

"It's funny, when a Turian bares their teeth it generally means we are going on the aggressive, but when human bares their teeth it is a gesture of happiness," he lifted his mouth into what Shepard read as a Turian smirk.

Her smile spread, amused by the culture difference. "Yeah? Do I look aggressive to _you_, Garrus?"

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, something registering in his eyes. "No. I don't think so." He crossed his arms, his smug look returning, "Though to be fair, Human's are almost cartoonishly expressive compared to Turians."

"Whatever, hotshot," her grin failed a bit as a thought occurred to her. "One more thing before I let you go prepare for Therum. How are you feeling about being under my command? I know you requested to be a part of the Normandy crew, but we have already had a couple of disagreements. I want to make sure we're on the level before we land." By the time she had finished her thought her smile had faded into a look of considerate authority.

"Well…" Garrus began, obviously choosing his words carefully.

Shepard let a hint of her earlier smile reemerge, "You can talk to me. I don't mind my crew having opinions, I just need you to follow orders when push comes to shove."

He exhaled in a manner that Shepard read as nervous and then began to speak, "I'm not so sure I would have cut Fist loose like that. He's an opportunistic criminal. I know plenty of people at C-Sec who would prefer to have had him jailed than just let him go."

Shepard was confused, "That's a weird way to put it." She brushed it off as another cultural difference. "…'Let him go'. I mean sure, I would have rather put him in jail too Garrus, but Wrex never gave me that option. I'm still kind of pissed off about that actually."

Garrus opened his mouth for a moment, "But…I-," then he closed it again, his eyes wider than usual.

Shepard took this as a sign to continue her explanation, "I should have never brought Wrex with me when I went to find Fist. I knew he'd been hired to assassinate him. I almost didn't allow Wrex aboard after that, but desperate times..."

* * *

Garrus finished her phrase, "-Call for desperate measures…" The words came out on their own with no consent from the Turian who spoke them. His mouth was even dryer than usual and he was very, very puzzled. He tried to keep it together in front of his Commander until he could figure out what was going on.

"Hey! See, you _do _know some human sayings!" That toothy grin popped up again. Garrus found her strange square teeth fascinating. He wasn't lying earlier when he told her that he didn't find her smile to be aggressive. There was no mistaking the look on her face as anything but cheerful. Even as a Turian he could see that.

He stowed that fact away in the growing file of human interaction he was putting together in his head before returning to his haze of confusion. "About what you were saying earlier…"

"About Fist?"

"Yes. About Fist. So the Krogan - Wrex, just killed him? Just like that?" He was attempting to gather information without turning his own befuddlement back on Shepard. What about that male human? He wasn't there? Hadn't Shepard let Fist escape?

When her brow crinkled and her face scrunched on one side, he realized he wasn't doing a very good job, "Well yeah, Garrus. You were there…" She trailed off, clearly confused.

_Get it together Vakarian_, he thought. He worried that Shepard was going crazy. He worried that she would think he was going crazy. Spirits, he worried that maybe he _was_ going crazy. "Of course Shepard. Things were just happening so fast. I was just curious how you saw what went down." He grimaced at his poor explanation and hoped Shepard wouldn't notice. He attempted to lean against lean against the Mako casually to diffuse the situation. It probably just looked awkward, but he had to try. He was thankful at that moment that Turians were so hard for humans to read.

"I guess I can see that," she let a pregnant pause spread between them. Garrus just wished she would leave so he could figure out what the hell was going on. "Well, I'm gonna go prep for our mission. We'll be taking The Mako down at 1100 hours sharp. If you have any last minute adjustments to make on her, now is a good time."

He attempted to say his goodbyes without acting like a _complete _moron and turned his attention back onto the Mako. As soon as he heard the elevator doors close he exhaled hard, crumpling forward onto the vehicle. After what seemed like just a few seconds he felt a someone jab the back of his armor.

Garrus's face tensed up, the blood draining from it. Intentionally, he relaxed and manually attempted to lower his heart rate. "Back so soon Shepard?" he said as he spun around toward the person who poked him. His face turned to Shepard's eye level and he immediately noticed that he was not, in fact, looking at the Commander. What he did see was a scarred, scaly, very Krogan face. Garrus met eyes with Wrex, the Krogan Warrior he and Shepard had just been speaking of.

"You look like you swallowed a Pyjak, Turian," Wrex growled. He was entirely too entertained for Garrus's comfort. Whereas Shepard had some difficulty gaging his reactions, Wrex was nobody's fool. Even from across the Cargo Bay Wrex had seen Garrus's crisis and now he was here to rub his face in it.

"Mind your own business, Krogan," Garrus replied, half expecting a head-butt.

For a moment Wrex was eerily still, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. Then he guffawed, slapping Garrus's shoulder a little too hard, "Come on Vakarian, you gotta lighten up! What crawled up your bony ass?"

Despite the fact that he didn't know Wrex very well, his easy manner inspired Garrus to give him part of the truth. "I'm just feeling a little perplexed. It's like I'm remembering things incorrectly. Or that the Commander is. It isn't a big deal. Probably just an simple mistake."

Wrex paused again, "It is probably you then, Vakarian. I have no love for humans, but that Shepard is what they would call a 'straight shooter.' You on the other hand I'm not so sure about yet." The Krogan's voice rumbled low in his belly with another chuckle. "Anyways, figure out whatever has your panties in a bunch or Shepard isn't going to be keeping you around long."

Without so much as a 'Goodbye', Wrex turned and went back to where he usually stood on the other side of the Cargo Bay. The Human Alliance Solider, Ashley's eyes followed both their movements with distrust. The way she was always watching them made Garrus think she didn't trust them. She most likely imagined they were plotting to overthrow the Normandy or something similarly inane.

His conversation with Wrex actually left him more off balance than he had been before. Garrus agreed with the Krogan on one thing: he needed to figure out if his version of the story or Shepard's was the right one. He didn't want to make too many waves and risk being taken off active duty, or worse, kicked off The Normandy, but he couldn't just sit by and do nothing. He decided to do a little bit of research with his new _Learn to do Things the Human Way _visor program before speaking to the Human male who he remembered being at the final showdown at Chora's Den with. Garrus also made a mental note that he should try to learn what that guy's name was first.

* * *

Garrus spent the next fifteen minutes adjusting the settings on his visor to integrate the Human Behavior Program. Now when he misunderstood a turn of phrase or needed to decode a specific facial cue, he could twitch his eye (just enough that nobody would notice) and the software would be on the job. Plus he could use it to look up phrases for his own use as well. That would be _very _helpful. It seemed to him that humans communicated through metaphor more often than they just came out and said what they meant. If this program could him him choose the _right _metaphor, that alone would be worth the twenty credits he'd dropped on it.

He also had a short and unpleasant conversation with Ashley. After trying and failing several times to break through her standoffishness and put her at ease, he took the direct route and learned that the man whose name he hadn't caught was Kaidan Alenko. After speaking with her he was fairly confident she wasn't always that singularly disagreeable. Ashley was probably only this way with Non-Humans.

By the time he got to Alenko's workspace near the sleeper pods, Garrus had come up with some semblance of a plan. The lighting in this area was orange. It was an odd choose, and gave Garrus the unpleasant impresson that everything was covered in a thick layer of grease. It didn't flatter anybody, Human, Turian _or_ otherwise, but least there weren't any females around to see him in such less than ideal conditions. He cleared his throat to get Alenko's attention.

Kaidan Alenko let a single eye flick at Garrus. He was fixing some sort of control panel, and he obviously didn't really want to be bothered, especially by some alien recruit he didn't know. "Need something Officer Vakarian?"

Garrus braced himself. This was going to be artless, but here goes nothing, "How did you like Chora's Den, Lieutenant Alenko?"

Alenko stopped his repairs, put down the small screwdriver he was using and turned around, a little _too _slowly. "You do realize this is really the first time we've really talked, right Vakarian? One on one I mean."

Garrus kept calm, "Yes, I realize that." He'd be embarrassed if he actually cared at all about what Alenko thought of him. Then a thought swan into focus from the back of his brain that he really wished hadn't. Alenko and Shepard knew each other pretty well, and he could tell _her _about Garrus's bizarre behavior. The notion made Garrus feel a less confident of the wisdom of his whole plan, but he was already in too deep to turn back now.

Alenko raised one eyebrow (so _that's _what those bristles are called) inquisitively (this bisor program was _certainly _worth what he'd paid- he doubted he'd have picked up on that otherwise), but he didn't speak.

"Well… I had heard from the other guys at C-Sec that Chora's Den was quite popular. The human officers seemed particularly fond of it. I'd never been until we raided Fist's operation and I was just curious what you thought." That wasn't enough. He needed a reason to bring up this line of questioning, "You know… man to man." It was at that moment Garrus realized this was a stupid plan and that he should never 'shoot from the hip' (this software just has so _many_ sayings) ever again. What Garrus really wanted to do at this point was excuse himself and never speak to anyone else for the rest of his life, but he hadn't found out what he was here to learn yet.

Alenko's eyebrows rose further and the right side of his lip quirked at the flustered Turian, "Man to man?" _Damn. _Had he used the wrong phrase? Was there a meaning to that phrase his visor hadn't properly explained?

Garrus had said enough. This time he just waited for Alenko to stop toying with him and answer the damn question. Finally the human man sighed and relented, "I have heard that that place is pretty popular and that it has quite the… ah, view. I've never been though. Unfortunately. Maybe when it gets reopened and we get some shore leave, we could go together Vakarian. You know, since you're such a big fan." And then to add insult to injury Alenko winked at him. The visor program notified Garrus that Alenko was teasing him, though Garrus had picked that up on his own.

"Sure. Uh… Thanks for your time Lieutenant. Pardon me," Garrus took the opportunity to bolt toward the elevator and get out of there. He had to awkwardly wait for a moment as he elevator was already down on the Cargo Deck. A minute later as the doors closed he could still hear the grating sound of Kaidan Alenko's barking laughter following him back to the hold.

* * *

Commander Shepard was feeling stressed. She knew her Alliance crew pretty well, but she was always of the opinion that a crew that was familiar with each other, was friendly with each other, would be a better oiled machine on the battlefield. It was especially crucial for a commanding officer to know their crew. Captain Anderson had taught her that and from past experience she had to agree. Plus, though she didn't understand it, Shepard had been told on several occasions that she had a natural ability to empathize for other people and understand what they needed.

Shepard's mind wandered to Jenkins's death on Eden Prime. She hadn't taken the time to familiarize herself with him. She didn't know his wants, his needs, and his idiosyncrasies. She didn't have any intimate knowledge of how Jenkins operated, and now he was dead. Ok universe, lesson learned. With that in mind, she decided to make the effort to learn how her ground crew ticked.

Wrex seemed like a direct guy, and Shepard appreciated that trait in people. She would start with him. Shepard had never known a Krogan personally, so she thought talking to him would be enlightening in more than one way. Shepard walked quietly past Vakarian and Alenko as she moved to the elevator to the Cargo Bay. She was tempted to listen in, but Shepard had always tried to respect her crew's privacy. At least they looked like they were getting along. As she passed by the pair, Kaidan broke his gaze from Garrus and winked at her.

The elevator ride down seemed to take an eternity. Why couldn't the Alliance just install stairs, it would be so much faster, plus the crew could get some exercise at the same time. Shepard thought of Joker and his condition. Maybe they should have a_choice_ between stairs and a crazy slow elevator. She would have to send a suggestion to Alliance about that when she got a chance.

Wrex was in his usual spot by the lockers, doing… What _did _he do over there anyways? She'd have to ask him at some point.

"Shepard," Wrex grumbled as she approached. It wasn't an unfriendly grumble, that was just how he spoke.

"Wrex," she responded. "Just seeing how you're acclimating. Getting along with everyone alright?"

"Sure Shepard. Between the Gunnery Chief's icy stares and the awkward Turian with mental problems things down here have been just peachy," he chuckled dryly to himself.

Ashley being unpleasant to Wrex wasn't a surprise at all, but that last part left her wondering what he referred to. "Officer Vakarian has been behaving strangely? How do you mean?"

"Nothing Shepard. He just seems confused is all. Not a good look for a stick up his ass Turian, if you get what I'm saying." A twinkle of amusement played in his eyes.

"I noticed that too, now that you mention it," she thought back to the unusual conversation she'd had with Garrus in regards to Wrex's unexpected actions at Chora's Den. "About what happened with Fist. I understand you had a job to do, which is why I have forgiven your earlier insubordination, but in the future you listen to me. I'm in command of this frigate." She adjusted her voice to the most intimidating tone she could, "Got it Wrex? Break downs in communication cost people their lives and I will not accept anymore trouble from you." She crossed her arms over her chest and stood as tall as she could manage. Which, when compared with a Krogan Battlemaster was not very tall at all.

Wrex simply smirked in reply, "I got it Shepard. I'm along for the ride for now, we'll see how things go. I have my own Varen in this fight too, you know."

That response was good enough for Shepard for now, so she changed the subject, "As far as Vakarian is concerned he's probably having a hard time adjusting to his new situation. He has been in the Turian Military and then in C-Sec for most of his life, so dealing with all these humans must be quite a culture shock," she paused for a second as she warmly recalled the playful banter they had engaged in earlier, "Besides, his behavior doesn't seem too weird to me." Shepard attempted to be understanding about the exceptionally strange conditions the officer must be enduring. She always tried to not jump to judgement too quickly. It didn't hurt that he was an excellent soldier and handy to have in a fire fight. They would need him if they had any chance of taking down Saren, and fighting by somebody's side hadn't felt that natural for years.

At that moment the elevator doors opened. Garrus was on board. He looked toward Shepard and Wrex for a moment before freezing up, lowering his eyes to the ground, and quickly shuffling across the floor to enter the Mako without so much as a word. Both Shepard and Wrex's eyes followed his path before they looked back at each other.

Wrex laughed from deep down in his belly, the sound filling the room, "Yeah, cause that guy isn't weird at all."

* * *

Still fuming from his run in with Alenko, Garrus waited impatiently for the rest of the party in the driver's seat of the Mako. So that was it then. Alenko had never even been to Chora's Den. Garrus had been the one who remembered wrong, not Shepard. Then what the hell did that mean? He was sure the way he remembered it was the way it had happened. Was there some kind of a conspiracy to pull a joke on the new Turian crew member? Garrus knew that humans had a fondness for that kind of thing. About an hour had passed since he passed by Shepard and locked himself in the Mako to fret. It was almost time for the mission on Therum.

A knocking on the passenger side window brought Garrus out of his fog. "Officer Vakarian, may I join you? I'm the other person that's going to Therum." He looked up to see the Quarian, Tali, barely visible outside the tinted windows, peeking inside.

"Sure, get in. Shepard should be here any minute."

Tali opened the door and slipped into the backseat. "I'm nervous! This is my first real combat situation, I hope I do well. I really want to impress the Commander. She's quite a formidable woman." Tali began tapping her fingers on the back of the passenger side seat.

Garrus checked his Omni-Tool. "It is 1100 now. Where's Shepard?" he hissed. He was feeling pretty wound up and the constant chatter from the girl in the backseat wasn't helping.

"I haven't known Shepard for very long, but she seems to run on her own schedule, you know?" Tali readjusted herself, clearly uncomfortable with the tenseness that radiated from Garrus.

"No, I really don't," Garrus said honestly. Hadn't Shepard told him to be there at 1100 hours sharp? She didn't seem like the type to be late, stickler to the rules that she was. He sighed, it wasn't like he had anything better to do.

Soon after, the conversation with Tali petered out. She opened her Omni-Tool and made adjustments to something to keep herself busy, while Garrus silently stewed.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes later Garrus heard a tough rap on the window next to his head. "I see you in there Vakarian. Move your skinny ass over. I'm driving."

Garrus sat in shock for a moment before letting out a dumbstruck, "Uh?" That certainly _sounded _like Shepard's voice, but it was different. There was less of an authoritative request behind the delivery and more of a harsh demand.

"You heard me Vakarian, now move the hell over or you're benched!" She hit the window with a closed fist again. Hard. Garrus, being the good soldier he was, moved the hell over.

Before he had fully settled into his designated seat on the passenger side and put his belt on, Shepard had already claimed her territory in front of the wheel. She had her N7 helmet on, and with the poor lighting inside the Mako he couldn't make out much else.

"Jesus Vakarian, I hope you're faster than that on the battlefield or we'll all be fried," she said with an almost cruel tone that he would have never associated with Shepard. Was she mad at him about something? The thing with Alenko, maybe? Shepard started up the Mako, revved the engines and radioed to the pilot for a drop off.

* * *

Neither Garrus nor Tali had been in a Mako drop before. They were both astounded by the altitude at which the Normandy let the Mako go. Shepard just laughed the entire way down, likely from adrenaline, though Garrus would have thought she would at least have said something comforting to Tali. The Quarian was so inexperienced with this kind of action and she was obviously nervous.

Garrus took it upon himself to turn around and allay her anxiety. "We're fine Tali, but don't be ashamed of a little fear. I'm a universe weary C-Sec officer after all… and the jump scared me a little too," he attempted to lay down some confident charm, through his own shaken nerves.

"Thanks… Officer Vakarian," she responded, a tremor still in her voice.

"Call me Garrus." He found himself reminded of his younger sister back on Palaven, and his protective older-brother instincts were kicking in.

Shepard was too busy concentrating on driving the Mako full blast through a tunnel and taking out Geth forces as they went to join in the conversation. Garrus looked down at the center console and was surprised to see a sniper rifle at the Commander's side. After all her atypical behavior he didn't want to address her directly but he couldn't stop himself, his curiosity had been piqued, "Shepard, why did you bring a rifle?"

She snorted, obviously amused, "Why? You afraid I'm going to show up your lackluster shooting skills Vakarian?"

That wasn't what he meant of course. He wanted to know where Shepard's shotgun was, but he'd already been baited by her questioning his abilities. "You? Shoot that thing better than me? Surely you jest."

"While the shot you took to save the good Doctor was real friggin' impressive, I think I've been shooting a hell of a lot more heads with a hell of a lot fewer bullets since then." Garrus began to open his mouth with a retort before she interrupted, "Don't debate it, you know it's true." She turned toward him with even behind the glass of her helmet and he could have sworn he could _feel _her winking at him.

Well, there was a number of inconsistencies Garrus didn't want to address, but couldn't help noticing. He pushed his worries aside and attempted to get his head back into the mission. Shepard, distracted from the conversation and probably going too fast, took a curve too wide and slid against wall, the metal of the vehicle scrapping and creating sparks. "Now both of you keep your yaps shut while I drive or you're going to have _a lot_ extra dings to work out later, Vakarian."

He was glad to have the quiet, such as it was, with Shepard using the Mako's mass effect generators to jump over Geth missiles and sending her own to silence them. Her aim was impeccable, he had to admit. By the time they made it to their destination, Garrus was nearly convinced that he was indeed going insane. Since when had Shepard ever touched a sniper rifle? Sure, he had only been on two missions with her and he was sure that she had many skills he wasn't familiar with, but why hadn't she used her rifle, or even mentioned that she was a sniper? Plus he was absolutely sure she was _not impressed _with his performance in Dr. Michel's clinic. She had gone so far as to chew him out in front of everyone for his carelessness. The familiar knot of guilt reemerged in his gut.

They finally parked the Mako when they couldn't drive it through the enclosed rocky canyons any further. "I'll be out in a minute, I need to adjust my Punisher," Shepard referenced the type of rifle she carried.

"Yes Ma'am," was all that was said in return. Tali and Garrus exited the Mako together and took in the planet's bleak climate. The craggy volcanic rock and rivers of lava made this place seem uninviting and dangerous. It probably _was _incredibly dangerous, which was why they were here to rescue Dr. T'Soni. Hopefully it would be worth it.

Garrus turned toward the sound Shepard coming out of the Mako. For how blistering hot it was on Therum the shock of seeing her made his blood run ice cold. She was wearing N7 armor, that much was true, but the dim lighting inside their transport had deceived him. It wasn't the usual blue armor he was accustomed to. It was blood red. She carried her Punisher Rifle proudly, crossed in front of her chest. Shepard's glossy, well groomed, black hair had been replaced with a shock of bright red, curly and wild. Her face was the same, but the expression wasn't anything he had seen on the Commander before. He had seen her smile, yes, but this was different. This smile was equal parts joy and aggression.

This was Shepard, it _had to be._ But this Shepard was NOT the one who had dressed him down for endangering Dr. Michel, and she wasn't the Shepard who let him join the Normandy crew, and she _certainly _wasn't the Shepard who he had joked with in the Cargo Bay earlier today. This wasn't that Shepard at all. All he was left with was one burning question. _Who was this woman?_

* * *

_**A/N: Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying, I'd love to hear from you via reviews! The next chapter should be up sometime early next week.**_


	3. Chapter 2- Renegade

The battlefield chemistry that Garrus Vakarian had developed with Commander Shepard was completely turned on its head as they travelled across the rock-ribbed landscape of Therum. 'Blue Shepard', as he had come to refer to her in his head, was all biotics and shotgun pellets, up close and efficient. She would find cover and when an enemy got close enough she would unload an expert and intentional storm of firepower. Garrus's part in this was obvious; keep the swarms off of her, to pick off the enemy one by one so she could take out everyone that was left. It was comfortable, like they were two parts that made up a very deadly whole.

That, of course, wasn't the Shepard who he was escorting through the volcanic scenery. The red armored Shepard's personality and look were different, but that wasn't the full extent of the change. She hung back with Garrus, each of them sniping the bulk of the Geth Solders and letting Tali use her technical prowess for support. Instead of the orchestrated dance that he and the first Shepard had, his relationship with this Shepard was combative to a fault.

She mocked Garrus and kept score. Each head shot made she tallied and relayed to him, teasing him mercilessly when he fell behind. It boiled his blood and forced his hand to go faster, get more kills, see more synthetic heads explode in his scope. For how much he wanted to impress the shotgun toting Shepard, this Shepard inspired a rivalry in him that drove him to perform at his heated peak. He began feeling almost predatory toward Shepard, a feeling he wasn't entirely comfortable with, but damn if it wasn't fun.

He didn't have time to agonize about the strange events that had been taking place since he met the Commander only a few days prior. All his focus was on the game. Occasionally he would miss the cool consistency of the Shepard in blue, but those thoughts only lasted a moment before the next wave of Geth would force him to once again fall into the competition that he and the Shepard in red had established.

They kept this up even after they entered the mine that led to the Prothean ruins. After clearing out what seemed like countless Geth they finally found the Asari Scientist. She was trapped inside of some kind of ancient device, a blue orb of energy levitating her in the middle. Dr. T'Soni continued calling for help as they approached. Garrus, still feeling adversarial from the fight to reach her, wanted to tell her to shut her mouth, but then thought better of it.

Shepard didn't have Garrus's tact, "Quit shouting, this place is crawling with Geth!" He smiled internally at the thought that Shepard might have read his mind.

It didn't take them long to figure out that the key to getting T'Soni out of her self inflicted prison was a powerful mining laser. With Tali's help they worked out the proper coding sequence to get the machine powered up and functioning. Shepard reveled in the extra destruction the laser caused, while Garrus considered it a shame to destroy such ancient ruins. Even so, he still felt a modicum of amusement at her reaction. This was the first moment he had taken the time to think about how the other Shepard might have reacted to this turn of events. He thought very much that 'Blue Shepard' would have agreed with him.

* * *

Blowing up shit was always a good time in Shepard's book. Too bad Wrex wasn't there, he would have thought this was a blast. Shepard eyed Dr. T'Soni as she was freed. She didn't think that this mousey little Asari was anything special. Shepard found herself hoping that T'Soni's biotics were more commanding than her disposition, otherwise this whole thing might be a waste. They already had word on where Benezia might be and Shepard didn't feel like she'd need any extra intel to kill some old Asari Matriarch.

Shepard momentarily cursed her inability to think ahead as the hole caused by the laser started a cave in that threatened to end her mission sooner than she would have liked. Luckily her adrenaline kicked in and gave her the drive to rally her team and get them out of there. Right after she called Joker for a pick up, her group ran right into a wall of angry Geth (at least she imagined they were angry) and a very large, very scarred up Krogan Battlemaster.

"Liara, Tali, take out these Geth! Garrus cover them! The Krogan is mine," a wicked grin spread across Shepard's face as she eyed her opponent. Suddenly she was glad the cave was coming down around them, it made for a very dangerous and dramatic battlefield, and that was her _favorite _kind.

The first phase of the fight didn't last long. Between Liara, Tali and Garrus the Geth were completely eradicated in a manner of minutes. All that was left was their Krogan leader. Shepard had definitely done some damage to him, but the resilient Battlemaster was still standing. In hindsight, maybe it was good that Wrex wasn't here to see her relish this kill. She always loved going toe to toe with a Krogan, fierce warriors that they are. She hit him a few times before having to move to another position. Shepard tried to keep away from him, but the regenerating bastard just wouldn't go down. He kept charging at her to close the gap between them. She was about to switch to her pistol when the Krogan sent off a biotic burst that threw her off her feet, knocking her senseless.

Everything went bright white with pain. As her vision slowly came back the first thing Shepard saw was a gigantic Krogan foot, preparing to stomp whatever life was left out of her head. She readied her pistol as quickly as she could manage in her hazy state, attempting to get off one more shot before meeting her maker. _If you're going go out, you might as well do it getting your brains splattered on an alien planet by a pissed off Krogan right?_ She lined the sights of her weapon between his eyes and started to squeeze the trigger, but before she heard the shot the Krogan's face exploded with a concussive blast laying the him out flat on his back. Still half-dazed, she noticed Vakarian saunter by, his handgun pointed toward the Battlemaster. Garrus stopped just above the Krogan and unloaded the rest of his clip in his head, causing copious amounts of orange blood to pour out the gray stone floor of the cave.

Realizing that the fight was over, Shepard felt her adrenaline ebb away. She closed her eyes and curled up into a ball. "That really effing hurt," she rasped.

"Keelah! Are you alright Commander?" Tali called. Dr. T'Soni hung back, realizing that there wasn't much she could do.

"Let it never be said that Commander Shepard is careful!" Shepard joked despite herself. She opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn't, everything around her was spinning. The one thing she could make out was a pair of Turian legs striding across the battlefield way toward her.

Garrus crouched down next to her, a flanging chuckle in his voice, "I wouldn't worry about that Shepard. Careful isn't a word anyone wise would use to describe you." Shepard saw all three of him appraise the damage, "I think you'll live. Though I can always find you another Krogan to kick your ass if you want?"

"All right, laughing boy, just patch me up so we can get off this rock," she coughed, more amused than annoyed at his impudence.

"A Medi-gel pack should keep your insides together until we can get you to Chakwas," he applied the salve gently to her neck and chest, which had taken the brunt of the Krogan's biotic attack. Shepard had heard that Turians temperatures ran a hotter than humans, but she had never experienced it directly before.

As Vakarian slipped his hand down her chest just under her armor she noticed that he had taken off his glove to apply the medicine. "Trying to cop a feel Garrus?"

"I just didn't want to get it on my gloves, they're a bitch to clean," he laughed again.

The anesthetic properties of the gel did its job within seconds and she could feel the bruise cauterizing internally, but she still felt like she might pass out. "All right, let's get out of here before we get eaten by this hellhole," her voice cracked. Pieces of rock and a steady rain of dirt was falling down all around them. This place was coming down, one way or another.

"Come on Shepard, we gotta go! You can't nap down there all day," Garrus offered Shepard his hand. As she took it she let herself feel the novelty of holding his three fingers, each set with a talon. He hadn't put his glove back on yet so she could feel his strange, warm, leathery skin. In one smooth motion he put his arm under hers and around her waist to hold her weight. "I know you're still hurting Shepard, but you are really going to have to run," this time all the of the humor had melted out of his voice. Garrus used the arm that wasn't supporting Shepard to motion toward the exit of the mine, "Tali, T'Soni, go, go go!" The next few minutes sped by in a blur, but by some miracle everyone made it out of the cave intact. Joker had the Normandy waiting for them as soon as they emerged. By that time Shepard was swimming in a dreamlike state somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. The last thing she could remember was being laid on a table in the Med Bay and a pair of ice blue eyes staring into hers before everything went black.

* * *

As the Normandy left the atmosphere of Therum, Garrus finally allowed himself to think about what had happened there. The grey haired doctor had told him Shepard would make a speedy recovery, but that she would have some lasting bruising. At least he didn't have to worry about that, he had enough to mull over. He had concluded that the unusual events were _not_ some kind of conspiracy orchestrated by the crew to mess with him. So it had to be something more… _complicated_. Garrus Vakarian was no quantum physicist by any means, but this situation reeked of alternate realties to him. That is, unless somewhere along the way he really had gone crazy. He shook that thought away and decided that looking at the situation from that tack wasn't going to be helpful. Maybe now was the time to do some research.

He thought back to the conversation with Alenko. He would have to be more careful in the future so as to not alienate the rest of the crew. He opened his Omni-Tool and looked up Dr. T'Soni. While in person she came off as flighty she did have a reputation for being rather brilliant. This wasn't her field of expertise either, but she seemed like the best person to ask. He could do research himself, but T'Soni would give him a place to start.

He began some mindless busywork on the Mako while he ran over the events of the past few days in his head again and again. Before he could get too wrapped up in his wild theories he heard the elevator doors open. The now familiar footsteps notified him that it was the Commander approaching him. He wondered for a moment which Shepard it would be when her voice piped up, "Yo, Vakarian - Hope I didn't screw up that beast too much." So the Shepard in red was still with us. Garrus didn't have any reason to believe she would become the Shepard in blue again, or any other variation for that matter, but somewhere in his gut he believed (or was it hoped?) that he would see her again.

He turned toward her, she looked pretty good, all things considered. She did have a nasty purple bruise on the side of her neck that had bled down over her chest plate. He thought for a moment of asking her if she was all right, but thought better of it when he imagined her response. Instead he made a joke, "It's something to keep me busy while I'm not saving your ass from a Krogan." He heard Wrex's low chortle from the other side of the room.

Shepard ignored Wrex and kept her focus on Garrus, "About that… I just wanted to say thanks for your help on Therum." She struck him lightly on an armored shoulder in what he hoped was a gesture of camaraderie. Then she combed her hand through her curls, sending them from one side of her face to the other, "Not that I couldn't have saved myself."

Surprised at the appreciation Garrus smirked and opened his mouth before being shut down by Shepard, "Keep your smug mouth shut Vakarian. And don't expect me to keep singing your praises. I just like to give credit where credit is due." She crossed her arms over her chest and adjusted her weight from one foot to the other. "We'll be rolling through Noveria in a few days with T'Soni and I want you to be there."

"Looking for round two?" Garrus challenged.

"You know it. As of Therum I'm ahead you know," she smiled triumphantly.

She was right, she had managed a bigger body count on Therum than he did, though he was secretly pleased he'd have the chance to catch up on Noveria. "What? You mean taking out that Krogan before he stomped your brains out doesn't get me a bonus?" Garrus was half joking, but somewhere deep inside he hoped this ploy would net him a few extra points in their game.

"Psh. Hell no. That counts as one. And I even softened him up for you," she put her hands on her hips and leaned toward him.

Garrus was enjoying his banter with Shepard, but a thought was formulating in his head that he couldn't help but express, "Seriously though Shepard, I'm surprised you'd rather have me along than your Alliance crew." He let his eyes wander to where Ashley stood. She was modifying an assault riffle with a scowl on her face. Ashley could hear his conversation with the Commander and he were having and she didn't like it.

Shepard followed Garrus's gaze toward the Gunnery Chief and as soon as she saw the resentful expression on the woman's face, Shepard's eyes narrowed. Without looking away from Ashley, Shepard put up a single finger in front of Garrus's face, "Wait here." She crossed the room to Ashley, and began a whispered conversation with the obviously cross woman.

Garrus was torn between trying to eavesdrop and letting them have their privacy. He decided that these were unusual times and that he could do worse things than listen in on a private exchange. Even after coming to that mental decision he really couldn't hear that much. He made out the words, _Vakarian, Alenko, _and the phrase _don't trust._ It wasn't much to go on, but the message was pretty clear. Garrus wondered if there was anyway to cure the Chief of her xenophobia before things got really out of hand.

The conversation didn't last long, but by the end Ashley looked like she wasn't as burnt up as she had been before. When Shepard came back to finish speaking with Garrus he wordlessly raised his brow plates with inquiry. "Don't stress, Vakarian," Shepard said casually. "Ashley's a pain in the ass," she glanced meaningfully the Chief, knowing that Ashley could still hear her, "but she's a good soldier. She'll make nice."

* * *

Garrus received a sideways glance from Dr. Chakwas when he entered the Medical Bay. She was sitting in front of a monitor, logging files. "Feeling well Officer Vakarian? I am by no means an expert, but I'm fairly well versed on Turian physiology and medicine," she said with a particularly strange accent. Garrus had noticed that humans were not only genetically diverse but they had an incredible range of cultural diversity as well. He had heard from a human colleague at C-Sec that there were thousands of languages on Earth, even before the advent of translators. Garrus viewed this as lunacy, though it did explain why humanity very rarely agreed on anything.

"I'm fine Doctor, though that is good to know. I hadn't really considered what would be done with me if I got sick." Garrus crossed his arms over his chest.

The Doctor cleared her throat and swiveled toward the Turian officer, "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sure much worse than sickness will befall you on one of those crazy missions you kids go on. Dangerous times, these. At least you'll know who to talk to if the Geth blow off one of your appendages." She looked at him very seriously for a moment before cracking up at her own morbid joke.

Garrus starred at her blankly and when she noticed she stifled her laugh to speak again, "Sorry Officer Vakaraian, this is just how I deal with all of the violence, death and everything else one deals with when one is military. Do Turians not do that sort of thing?"

Garrus leaned back a bit, "Depends on the Turian, Doctor. A lot of us are pretty uptight, hence the stereotypes of the Turian with the stick up his ass you humans are so fond of."

She matched his movement from her chair, leaning back into it, and folding her hands together. She had _so many_ fingers. "But not you, eh?"

Garrus's mandibles flicked as he chuckled, "I never was an average Turian. I _am_ glad to know that you could patch me together if I ever part with an arm or leg. Though I think I'd rather lose an eye. I've heard humans say eyepatches make you look tough. I could start a new fad."

"How would you shoot with no depth perception, Officer Vakarian?" Chakwas raised her eyebrows.

Garrus thought for a second before recognizing the error in his plan. "Not well, I imagine. I _may _not have thought this through very well," he drawled.

The Doctor laughed again, "Don't worry Garrus, there are wonderful innovations being made in synthetic optical devices. You know… just in case."

"Just in case," he smirked in reply.

* * *

Dr. Liara T'Soni was browsing on her computer when Garrus entered her room at the back of the Med Bay. It had been decided when she joined the Normandy crew that this lab would be the best place for Liara to continue her Prothean research. She was so completely entrenched in her studies that she didn't even notice Garrus's presence.

Garrus shuffled from side to side for a moment before speaking, "Liara? Dr. T'Soni?"

"Oh," she replied in a bright soprano, "Liara is fine." She stood up, brushed down her clothes, and looked into Garrus's eyes, "Did you need something Garrus?" Liara's gaze was so open and childlike that it was difficult to remember she was more than three times his age.

"Well, sort of. This may seem kind of random, but I wanted to ask you something - You know, as a scientist," Garrus rubbed his forehead with a gloved hand.

Liara smiled calmly, "I can do random, I suppose." She raised her eyebrows (which Garrus noticed weren't hairy like Shepard's) inquisitively and gave him an encouraging nod to urge him to continue.

"What do you know about alternate universes, Liara?" Garrus readjusted his weight from one leg to the other. "I was watching a vid about them the other night, fiction of course, but I was thinking, 'Hey! Maybe our resident Scientist would know a thing or two about alternate universes.'" He knew he was yammering, but at least this conversation was less awkward than asking Alenko his opinion about a strip club. "So do you? Know about how alternate universes would work in real life that is?" Garrus didn't understand how sometimes he could be so smooth and yet at other times he could become such a babbling idiot. The babbling idiot seemed to be winning out more and more these days.

Liara's peaceful smile didn't waver at all as Garrus spoke. "Well Garrus, I'm not an expert on such phenomena if that is what you are asking. I'm an archeologist, not a physicist."

"I understand that. I was just curious, in your opinion, how would that type of 'phenomenon' work realistically?"

Liara's face had settled into a smirk at this point, "Well in my opinion, it probably _wouldn't _work. There are versions of Multiverse Theory in the disciplines of cosmology, physics, astronomy, religion, philosophy, transpersonal psychology and of course fiction all throughout the galaxy. One of the older, less observed religions of my own people recognizes another universe parallel to our own. Obviously, I put more faith into some of those studies than others, but they all posit that if we live in an infinite universe it would only make sense that there would be alternate versions of our own reality out there."

"Is there any evidence that Multiverse Theory could be real?" Garrus was starting to doubt it, but he was grasping at straws here.

"Well, no. It's really hard to say though. Like I said, Quantum Physics isn't my field. I think that it's completely possible that there could be multiple universes running parallel to each other. It does however, seem unlikely. In my professional opinion Multiverse Theory runs contrary to the Principle of Sanara, which is something I hold in high regard."

"The Principle of Sanara?" Garrus asked. He'd never heard of any such thing.

"Humans call the principle Occam's Razor. I imagine the Turians have a name for it too, but I don't know what that might be. It states that among competing hypotheses, the one that makes the least assumptions should be selected," Liara looked at Garrus expectantly before recognizing his vacantly confused stare. "Basically, whatever the simplest explanation is, it's probably the one that is true." She clarified further, "It is like this: Your visor goes missing. Did you misplace it? Was it stolen? Or did it grow wings and fly off into space? Odds are you probably just misplaced it. It could have been stolen, but that is less likely. And it is nigh impossible that an inanimate object grew wings and took a jaunt into space." Garrus had never thought about it before, but this was a rule he actually used quite regularly during his investigations for C-Sec.

Garrus had rested his elbow on his arm and put a closed fist thoughtfully under his chin while listening to Liara, "That makes a lot of sense actually. Thanks for your help Liara," he lowered his hand from his chin and nodded politely toward her. "I'll let you get back to your work."

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a romantic, Garrus." Liara looked pleased, crinkles beginning to form around her eyes.

"How do you mean?" he asked. "I've never thought of science as 'romantic'."

"Oh, it is though," Liara replied dreamily. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if our universe existed in countless numbers with any variation we could think of? Maybe in some of them you were never a C-Sec officer at all. You could be Primarch or the Turian Councilor or even a Prothean Archeologist like me," Liara looked up and away from Garrus, lost in thought. Slowly, she turned back toward him and walked over to him, swaying her hips from side to side. All of the timidness Liara had presented earlier melted away as she brought her hand to his face. "In one reality I could do this," she stroked his mandible tenderly. "And in another I could do this," she learned toward him and kissed the place she had touched, her lips barely brushing him.

That sent Garrus careening out of his comfort zone, "I, uh… I'm not here for..."

He considered just leaving without saying anything more, but he thought that might be weird. Not that things weren't already incredibly weird. Before he could force any words out of his mouth, Liara took the opportunity to speak up, "Don't worry Garrus, you're a very handsome man, but I have eyes for someone else. I was just caught up in the moment. _I_ for one find science, _very _romantic." Garrus had heard that Asari were a sensual species, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Sure. Don't worry about it." He began backing away toward the door without turning around. "I'm just going to get back to the Mako now. I have a few more dents to work out before our next mission." Garrus swung around and exited before Liara could get in another word.

* * *

Garrus had known a few Turians who had relationships with Asari, but he didn't understand the appeal himself. They were all squishy blue skin, diplomacy, and mind games. He tended to like women who took the direct approach. An Asari Commando maybe? He shook off the thought. _Nah_, still not his thing. Garrus's stomach clenched a bit when he realized Liara would be accompanying him and Shepard on the next mission to Noveria. _Because that won't be awkward or anything_.

He noticed outside of the Med Bay that 'Red Shepard' was conversing with Alenko in his poorly lit work area. Garrus's heart dropped when he realized that they very well could be talking about him. He wasn't sure what the Shepard in blue would think about his recent bout of strange behavior, and he certainly didn't want to know how the Shepard in red would react. She came off as much less tactful and much more cocky, and he had no doubt that this Shepard would _never _let it go if she could tease him about it.

Garrus brought out his Omni-Tool and attempted a casual saunter over to the commons table in the middle of the habitation deck. He tried to convince himself that this was just like a stakeout for C-Sec. Then why did he feel so tense? Maybe he should ask Chakwas about getting something to calm his nerves. As he sat down, he realized that if this was going to be the new norm, he was going to have to just roll with the punches (love this human jargon software) and get used to it.

Shepard laughed boisterously at something Alenko said. Garrus tried to focus in on their conversation without blatantly staring right at them. Turians had excellent hearing compared to humans so he could make out most of the conversation they were having.

"Oh, I'm sure Joker said he could make the Normandy dance. That kid's love for this ship is a little unnatural," Alenko mocked the absent pilot.

Shepard giggled again and then caressed his arm, "I'm glad you're here, Alenko. Who else would make fun of Joker with me and let me do this!" She brought her hand back from his arm, closed the fist, cranked it back and hit him between the muscles on his tricep.

"Jesus Shepard! That really hurt!" Alenko rubbed his arm futilely as another sequence of breathless laughs escaped Shepard's lips.

"What are you gonna do about it tough guy?" She raised her fist again in a playfully aggressive manner.

Still tending to his arm, Alenko's head slumped down, "Nothing."

Shepard lowered her hand and grinned triumphantly, "Exactly."

Garrus smiled to himself, before a thought occurred to him. This seemed like a certain kind of behavior he couldn't quite nail down. He let his eye flick to one side to activate his human decoding software and two words replied on his visor, _aggressive flirting._ Shepard was… flirting with Alenko? _Really?_ Garrus could see that from a human standpoint how Alenko was supposedly handsome. He had seen the other women on the Normandy taking notice of his physique.

What confused Garrus was that Alenko's relationship with Shepard didn't seem conducive to romance. They were friendly, that was certain, but Alenko acquiesced to her every whim like a… like a… Garrus let his eye twitch through different phrases in his visor program until he found the one he wanted. Like a _puppy_. Lost in his own world Garrus watched a vid on his Omni-Tool about Earth puppies. _Yes! _ That was it exactly. Kaidan Alenko was like a puppy in regards to Shepard. How could she see such a creature in a sexual context? Or even in a relationship context?

Both of the Shepards he knew melted in his brain into one indomitable woman, one brilliant soldier, one force of nature. She needed someone who could challenge her. She needed someone who wouldn't let her railroad him. She needed someone who could support her in the face of the trails that surely awaited her. Someone like… someone like… "Someone like…" Garrus found himself speaking out loud despite himself.

"Someone like who, Vakarian?" Shepard plopped herself down on the opposite side of the table from him.

"Huh?" This snapped him out of his internal monologue and back into reality. "Oh, nothing Shepard, don't worry about it."

"Nothing my ass. Now fess up!" Shepard brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Garrus's eyes widened with consideration. She was definitely more flexible than any Turian woman he'd ever met.

Garrus readjusted in his seat, leaning forward toward the Commander. He casually turned off his Omni-Tool. If she wanted a fight, even it was just for fun, he would be more than happy to oblige.

* * *

Garrus Vakarian paused for a moment before focusing his gaze on Shepard, his pale blue eyes burrowing into hers. As he slowly opened his mouth, Shepard imagined a confession on the tip of his tongue… Someone like…? Then he closed his mouth again and shook his head, "Nah. I'm not saying another word about it."

"Damn it! I nearly had you!" She untucked her legs from her chest and playfully hit the table a couple of times with her fists. Shepard had absolutely no idea what he had been talking about when she approached him. A few moments ago she had noticed Garrus sitting by himself and went over to see what he was doing, only to discover him talking to himself and watching puppy videos on his Omni-Tool. What would a Turian be doing watching puppy videos? Did he want a puppy? Shepard had always been a Varen kind of girl. "Alright, I'll change the subject. Why are you watching _puppy _videos over here?"

"What? I wasn't-" Garrus began before Shepard interrupted him. If he could have gone pale under his face plates, the Commander imagined he would have.

"-We could always ask Kaidan what kind of puppy you should get. Hey Kai-" Shepard was stopped by a Turian hand slapping the table in front of them. Shepard hadn't really intended to get Kaidan involved, but the mention of his name _had _gotten the result she wanted.

Garrus coughed, "No, no, that won't be necessary. I'll 'fess up' as you so eloquently put it."

"Effing finally! I thought I was going to have to _order _you to tell me," she pursed her lips, "but you _did _keep a Krogan from crushing my head like a melon so…"

"A melon?" Garrus sat still for a moment. Shepard, who was still intently looking into his eyes saw the one that was obscured by the visor flit to one side. It was a negligible, but noticeable alteration. Somebody with average eyesight wouldn't have been able to detect the movement, but Shepard wasn't the best damn sniper on the ship for nothing. "Ah, you're referring to the Levo-Amino fruit. I can see what you're saying there, but you're head doesn't really look like a melon to me."

"Are you using that human analyzing program over there? I saw you flicking your- Wait a minute! You're getting me off topic on purpose!" She laughed and combed a hand through her curls, brushing them out of her face.

He finally conceded and delivered an explanation, "I was just thinking about how much I appreciate the opportunity to work on the Normandy with someone like you, Shepard. You're… a complicated, compelling woman. I'm glad I am getting the chance to know you. Thank you for rescuing me from the Citadel," his voice's natural flanging reverberated down Shepard's spine.

Shepard's skin flushed and her lips parted a bit at the officer's admission. She shook off her shock and returned to her usual swagger, "Sure thing Garrus. We couldn't leave a galaxy class rebel in C-Sec to drown in red tape, could we?"

That stopped Garrus in his tracks for a second before eliciting a smile (Shepard was beginning to understand his facial expressions), "No. We couldn't have that." His smile melted with his next line of questioning. "So, how long 'til we get to Noveria? Do we have a plan?"

"We should be ready to dock sometime tomorrow afternoon. You, Liara and I will go check out the sights and shake down some important people for information on Liara's mom. I figure bringing her along will be helpful, and I'll never hear the end of it if she doesn't get to see Benezia one more time before we shoot her full of lead," there was no humor in Shepard's voice.

"Maybe it won't come to that," Garrus folded his gloved, three fingered hands together on the table.

Shepard turned away coolly, "Maybe… Liara is going to have to be prepared for things to go sideways, though." While it was true that Liara was annoyingly naive, she did seem like a good kid. The more Shepard talked to her the more she hoped things on Noveria wouldn't end in heartbreak. If Benezia couldn't be reasoned with, Shepard would do what she had to do, come hell or highwater. She always did. Shepard hopped up, her brash confidence returning to her, "Well, I'm gonna go get changed for dinner. You gonna be there? I figured the ground team should try to get to know each other better since we'll be working together for a while. I stocked up on some real food last time we were at the Citadel for a special occasion. Now seems as good a time as any." Garrus eyed her skeptically. "Yes, I even got some Dextro grub for you and Tali. You guys did good work on Therum, you deserve it."

He chucked to himself, "Sure Shepard, I'll be there."

* * *

Commander Shepard changed into some civvies for the dinner she had planned with the crew. She judged the black on black ensemble as it sat on her curves. It was fun, slightly sexy and yet still appropriate for her position. _Yes_, it was perfect. Her uniform was comfortable, but she figured if she wanted to build a rapport with her Non-Alliance staff she'd have to put in the extra effort. She looked into the mirror in her private quarters, throwing a hand through her masses of red curls to get them out of her face. Evaluating the bruising that covered her lower jaw, neck and chest, she brushed her fingers gently along the damage. It was turning a strange shade of purple-yellow, but with the treatments Dr. Chakwas had applied to the injury, it would be mostly gone by the next day.

As bleak as things looked in the wake of Saren's betrayal, her mission had been going remarkably well so far. Shepard had gathered a well rounded, rag-tag group of humans and non-humans whom she felt pretty confident about watching her back. She wasn't one to make friends, but Kaidan had been supportive, as always… and then there was that Turian Ex-C-Sec officer. Garrus was a bit on the strange side, but he made her feel vital, he made her feel impressive, and he even made her feel protected. That was a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time. If ever.

Trust and friendship weren't things that were earned easily with Shepard. She could count the people she really trusted on two fingers: the steadfast Captain Anderson who had acted very much like a father figure to her, and _maybe _Kaidan Alenko. If she wasn't so sure he wanted in her pants, Kaidan would be a definite pick for her best friend. However, even after the relatively short time she had known Garrus Vakarian, he had already earned more faith with Shepard than most people obtained in years.

Shepard ran the water from the sink, letting it cool on her fingers to a refreshing temperature before dipping her face into it, washing the water over her features with her hands. For a brief second under the exhilarating cleanse she let her mind go blank.

After a moment she lifted her face to the mirror again, looking into her own reflection. Commander Shepard took the band out of her shiny black bob with ease, letting it fall to her chin. It was orderly and looked soft to the touch. She grabbed a blue terrycloth towel, sweeping it from her forehead to her jaw. Shepard applied a bit of gloss to her bow-shaped lips before giving herself one more glance over. She felt ready for the informal party she had arranged for the crew. Before she walked out of her quarters door she assessed her clothing again, feeling slightly self conscious. This _was _a good look right? Alenko was likely to be pleased, but then she thought of her new Turian crewmate again. Would this be appropriate for a Turian commanding officer? She smiled to her self when she assumed, _probably no__t._

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter up! I hope you guys are enjoying. I am having a lot of fun writing it. Thanks to my fabulous beta for being so thorough. Please review if you get a chance! Reviews fill my inspiration bar.**

**Note: The next chapter and a half are written. As soon as my Beta is done with the third chapter it will go up. Thanks for your patience.**


	4. Chapter 3- Dinner, Drinks, and a Missile

After a little more than a week and a half of exclusively eating Dextro rations Tali'Zorah nar Rayya and Garrus Vakarian were both ravenous for real food. Commander Shepard, despite clearly having the best intentions, had purchased what could be charitably described as an eclectic set of cuisine for the pair. On the Quarian side, Shepard had provided a special low-calorie soup, generally eaten during a weight-loss regimen for the purpose of better fitting into one's environment suit; a roast that was usually reserved for a celebratory holiday meal; and an everyday salad. For her Turian crew-mate she had acquired a tack bread that was standard for the morning meal, a root vegetable that was out of season and Turian wine that was far too strong for a casual dinner.

As they looked at the thoughtful if amateurishly-selected food arrangement, Garrus turned to Tali, "I don't really know what half of this is, but why don't we share resources and try something new?"

The Quarian hemmed and hawed, "I don't know… I am pretty pleased with my haul."

Garrus picked up the Turian alcoholic beverage, turning it toward Tali, label first. "I have _liquor_…" he spoke the words slowly, a sing-song quality to his voice.

"Ok. You win, Garrus. I'll share," Tali's thick accent hung on every syllable.

The rest of the crew was already piling food high on their plates, buffet style. The entire ground team was there as well as an assortment of other crew members such as Joker - the Pilot of The Normandy - and XO Pressly, the navigator.

Garrus turned to Joker, who was already sitting down and chowing on his dinner. "Where's Shepard?"

"She insisted that everyone start eating without her. She'll be down in a minute," he spoke with his mouth full, spitting bits of vegetables onto the table.

Garrus held the tray that his food was on tight to his abdomen, looking around the table to assess where he should sit. As he made eye contact with Gunnery Chief Williams she immediately looked back down toward her food, pulling the plate toward her. She made it explicitly clear she didn't want him near her when she very obviously called to Kaidan to take the seat to her right. After some deliberation the officer finally decided to sit next to Wrex, who was happily downing his first helping of whatever tradition Krogan slop Shepard had picked up for him.

As he sat, Wrex side-eyed him, a crooked grin cracking the Battlemaster's ragged features.

Garrus spoke up first, "Surprised to see you here, Wrex."

"Vakarian," the Krogan regarded him, before shoveling another spoonful of his food into his large mouth. "I'm not going to let any anti-social tendencies cost me a non-ration dinner. If i have to mingle to get a real meal, then I'll friggin' mingle."

"What… is that you're eating anyway?" The rancid smell from Wrex's food wafted up Garrus's nostrils. A Turian's sense of smell, like most of their senses were a good deal stronger than other species (save the Krogans), so the pungent aroma was almost overwhelming.

"This? Just some Gryko. It's a stew made with three types of Varren organs. Tasty stuff. Wanna try some Vakarian?" Humor flooded the Krogan's red eyes as he pushed the bowl toward his obviously queasy friend. "You could wash it down with some Ryncol. This grub'll definitely put some stuffing in your hump."

"I think I'll pass. I have plenty of my own food. You know, food that won't kill me instantly." Garrus began the task of cutting the Quarian roast into smaller bites.

"Oh, grow a quad, Vakarian," Wrex tossed with the spoon he had been using and pulled the bowl to his face before slurping the remains of his meal down his tremendous gullet. After swallowing the last of his stew, he turned his attention to the where the Commander was entering the mess, "Finally made it Shepard? Thought this dinner was gonna be over by the time you graced us with your presence."

Instead of looking in Shepard's direction Garrus took the first bite of his carefully prepared roast.

"You leave enough Gryko for me Wrex?" Shepard sauntered up to the buffet and grabbed her own plate. As Garrus was chewing he peered over to see what foods Shepard would select from the serving board. She brushed her shiny black hair out her face, appraising the spread. Wait. That wasn't just Shepard. It was the _blue_ Shepard.

The Turian promptly spit out the bite he'd just taken onto his plate. "Blue!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself.

Everyone abruptly halted their conversations and eating to look at a very surprised Garrus Vakarian.

"Blue?" Shepard began, confusion plain on her face, "What's blue?"

Garrus blurted out the first thing to pop into his head, "Blue, you know… You wear blue armor. It's like…"

The Commander swooped in for the save, "Like a nickname? Blue," she tried out the word. "Hmmm…" She pursed her lips and brought them to one side of her face thoughtfully. "Blue… It works. Sure. Blue," she test drove the name a couple more times, "I like it." She nodded toward Garrus before turning her attention back to assembling her dinner. The rest of the group went back to their activities as well. After the last remnants of the awkward silence faded from the room Garrus made another cautious attempt at enjoying his meal.

* * *

Commander Shepard decided on a (real) chicken breast, freeze dried mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans for her supper. She also picked up some Asari Plaila Salad which looked like an exotic fruit and vegetable mix that smelled a little like tangerines. Pleased with her selections Shepard turned to find a seat. She settled for a place next to Liara and across the table from Chief Williams and Kaidan. She looked across the table and saw Wrex inhaling his third bowl of Gryko. The Krogan was giving Garrus a hard time about eating Quarian food, which he described as "sterilized pussy food". To Shepard's left was the expert, if immature, pilot Joker. Next to him was Tali, who was eating her food through some kind of port in her suit. Shepard couldn't quite make out how she was doing it, but it seemed to be working.

Shepard smiled to herself as she took her first, experimental bites of her Asari Salad. It didn't just smell like tangerines. Crunching thoughtfully on her vegetables, she appraised her crew. It was good to see them all sitting together, sharing their meal. She'd have to arrange another "family dinner" for them in the near future. Aside from Liara to her side, the table was split down the middle between non-human and human. Shepard hoped next time they'd be more integrated, but this was a start. Even Ashley was having a side conversation with her Asari crew-mate.

"Good grub, Skipper," Ashley turned her attention to the Commander.

Shepard chuckled with her mouth full of food before gulping down the bite, "Skipper? I'm just getting _all _of the nicknames today, huh? What's wrong with Shepard? Or Commander?" Shepard let her eyes wander toward Garrus. Between Skipper and Blue, Shepard had to admit she liked Blue better.

Ashley, who had opted out of wearing her uniform to dinner, was instead in a gray tank top and Alliance issue cargo pants. She casually threw back both of her hands behind her head and leaned back into her chair, letting its front legs rise off the ground. "Nothing's wrong with Shepard, Ma'am. I'm surprised you don't have a military nickname already, quite frankly."

"You can have mine if you want," Joker chimed in.

"Nah, I have plenty of my own now," Shepard speared another piece of salad and moved it into her mouth, smirking as she began to chew it.

Kaidan put down his fork and knife to bring his attention to the Commander, "So Shepard, I was thinking. Next time we get some shore leave on the Citadel there was this place I wanted to show you. They make the best steak sandwiches. You know, if you wanted."

Not wanting to turn down the Lieutenant's obvious date offer outright, especially in mixed company, Shepard gave him a diagonal nod slash head shake. Her voice cracked a bit as she spoke, "Maybe, maybe. We'll see." Then she shifted into excuse mode, "I know my Mom has been dying to see me though, so I was thinking I'd line up something with her next time we hit up the Citadel."

That caught Garrus's attention, "Your Mother lives on the Citadel?"

Shepard readjusted in her chair to angle her body toward the Turian for her response, "No, she is the Executive Officer on the Alliance Dreadnought Kilimanjaro. She's been pestering me for a visit since well before I got Spectre status. I want to try to see her before she takes it upon herself to track me down."

Kaidan raised his brows at Shepard, "I can totally see Hannah doing that. Yeah…" Kaidan attempted to mask his disappointment with the Commander's vague response to his date request. "You should probably make time, otherwise we'll have more dangerous things than Geth to worry about." He snickered at his own joke.

Ashley, having just cleared her plate, enthusiastically piped in, "I've heard of The Kilimanjaro. Hell of a machine. Have you seen the guns on that thing? They're huge!" The Gunnery Chief let her more-than-passing interest in large artillery shine through. "They'd knock anything out of the sky. Didn't know your mom was Alliance, Skipper. What about your Dad? You a full out military brat like me?"

"Kind of. Mom and Dad were both Alliance, but Dad couldn't deal with the Spacer lifestyle and he ended up bailing for a life on Earth. Mom just took me to wherever she was posted, mostly stations, until I was old enough to join the Alliance myself." Shepard looked away, lost in thought, "Haven't seen Dad in probably… 8 or 9 years? I don't know, but it's been a while."

Wanting to change the subject, the Commander reasserted her attention on Garrus, "What about you Vakarian? Your parents around?"

"It's complicated Shepard. My mother is back on Palaven with my sister. My father was C-Sec, one of the best," Garrus trailed off, clearly uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

Ashley scoffed, "Doesn't sound too complicated to me. Following in your father's footsteps sounds like pretty standard operating procedure to me, especially for a Turian."

He pivoted in his seat to look down the table at Ashley. "Maybe…" he let the words escape slowly, gathering his thoughts, "…and if I was the kind of son every Turian dreams about maybe my relationship with my parents would be simple, but I'm not. So it isn't." Garrus let his eyes fall away from the Gunnery Chief's.

Shepard's stomach clenched as she took in Garrus's abashed expression, "Well, that's enough family talk for now!" She attempted to lighten the mood with a quip, "I'm sure we all have our own sad-sack stories."

Liara, who had been oddly quiet at dinner spoke up at this sentiment, "I agree, no more talk of family."

The tenseness in the room was palpable as the Asari Scientist spoke. Everyone's thoughts jumped to the mission they were going to undertake tomorrow. Noveria. Matriarch Benezia. _Liara's Mother_. Some of the people who sat around the table gulped at the realization that they had been so insensitive. Kaidan was grimacing so hard that it looked like his face would cramp. Even Ashley looked a little pale.

When Liara realized that she was the cause of this sudden shift of moods she smiled serenely, "Oh please. Don't worry about me. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable."

"We didn't mean…" Tali muttered as she sunk down into her seat. Her masked face was unreadable, but her body language made it clear she was feeling just as sorry as everyone else.

Suddenly Liara laughed and scooted her chair away from the table before slapping her upper thighs with her hands a couple times, "I've just had an idea! We don't have to be off ship until 1300 hours tomorrow, right? Why don't we break out all that liquor the Commander so kindly purchased for us?"

That broke the tension. "I would kill for some of that Coconut Rum we got!" Ashley grinned ear to ear. Shepard was sure this was the first time she had seen the Chief smile in front of the non-human crew.

Everyone looked expectantly toward Commander Shepard for her response. Usually the night before a big mission she would have nixed the idea of letting the crew get trashed, but in the spirit of camaraderie Shepard made an unusual decision, "Sure, break it out." Ashley, Liara, Joker and Kaidan cheered at the verdict. Pressly, had excused himself while nobody was paying attention and Wrex just left as soon as the talk of partying had started, taking his Ryncol back to the Cargo Bay with him. Dr. Chakwas had excused herself from the meal entirely due to some research she was working on for Alliance Medical.

Garrus turned to Tali, "The offer for half of my Vinimium is still on the table, if you want. There's no way I could kill this bottle on my own."

"Garrus, Liara and Joker… Don't tear it up too much, I need you guys in top form tomorrow. Be sure to keep hydrated," Shepard was immediately regretting her decision.

"Sure, Commander," Joker pointed toward the rest of the party. "Now, I just need a volunteer to make sure I don't fall over and break all the bones in my legs."

* * *

All of them, including Garrus Vakarian, were well into their third or fourth drink. One more and he would be _just_ on the far side of drunk. At least, in his estimation he would be. If he were to be realistic, he was probably on the far side of drunk already. Not that he would admit it.

Shepard had just gotten back from what Garrus assumed was one of her many bathroom visits. After his second drink he noticed that she had dressed up for dinner, her black on black civvies being something he hadn't seen her wear before. After his third drink he realized that it was a fairly clingy number that hugged her waist in a very flattering way. He wondered if humans put as much stock in a small, sturdy, well-shaped waist as Turians did. And now, halfway through his fourth drink, he discovered an unusual smell was coming off of her slinky black number. Even across the room he could detect the fragrance of soap, fabric softener, and then something he _almost _recognized. In his inebriated state he just couldn't put his finger on it. It smelled burnt and not entirely unpleasant.

A few drinks had really lightened the mood in the Mess. Ashley even spoke to Garrus without the expression she usually made. His Visor Software read it as _'smelling something unpleasant'. _Did Turians smell bad to humans? He assumed not, because surely he would have heard of that effect before. Then he thought again of that mysterious smell on Shepard. He wasn't quite intoxicated enough to just ask her what the odor was outright, but he was pretty close. He mused on how long it would be before curiosity won out.

"Garrus, why do you have that paint on your face anyways?" Tali, who was probably the least experienced with drinking alcohol and therefore the drunkest, slurred slightly and poked the officer's cobalt facial tattoo with a gloved finger.

"This old thing?" Garrus copied the phrase Shepard had used earlier when Kaidan complimented her black dinner outfit. He looked toward Commander, who was in a conversation with Liara, notice and smirk to herself. "It's not paint, it's a tattoo."

This brought the side conversation he and the Quarian were having to the attention of the group. "I'd heard that Turian men get their colony marks tattooed on their faces," Shepard readjusted her stance to face Garrus better. She had a glass in her hand full of, what had she called it? A Screwdriver. "You must get asked this a lot by humans, but did it hurt?" Garrus found himself amused with her boozy expressions, which were even more exaggerated than usual.

"Not really. Our harder plates don't have much in the way of pain receptors. You can feel it, and it does carry a dull kind of ache, but nothing that would be considered truly uncomfortable." The Turian had heard that human skin was literally covered with millions of highly sensitive nerve endings. He speculated for a moment what it would feel like for a human to get a Turian facial tattoo.

"So you don't feel anything on your face?" A red-faced Ashley jumped in. Apparently, she hadn't been listening very attentively.

"No, I _can _feel things on the hard plates, they just aren't very sensitive," he may as well educate the humans on Turian physiology while he was there. "I also have softer plates like my chin that are more sensory, and then even softer bits on my neck and the back of my he-" He cut himself off. Maybe he had said too much. "And Spirits, if any of you tell Wrex I swear I'll destroy you all." This line was met with mixed chuckles and laughter.

While he was speaking, Shepard had been making her way over to him. They hadn't spoken much since the drinking began, and Garrus hadn't really gotten a chance to get adjusted to Blue being back yet. He felt his stomach do a little flip when she closed the distance between them. He took a large gulp of the Turian wine he was holding.

"So," she smiled, "think we're going to have to cut Tali off tonight?"

"Cut Tali off?" Garrus was too deep in drink and too distracted to remember his Visor Software.

"Are we going to have to take the liquor away from her? I'm surprised the girl hasn't fallen over and punctured her suit yet." Shepard looked a bit heavier lidded than usual before her eyes opened in surprise. "Hey! You forgot to use your Human Decoding Thingy!"

Her exclamation solicited a low chortle from the Turian, "I guess I did."

The Commander's face opened up in a smile that took over all of her features, "Good. I know it will sound silly, but I kind of like explaining our turns of phrase to you. Maybe sometimes when we're talking you can let me?"

"That's not silly at all. It's nice to have people be interested in you and your culture. Which is why I prattled on about tattoos and plate sensitivity for so long I suppose," he took another long draught from of his beverage.

"Want to ask me anything while you have me here on my fourth drink?" A light fluttered in Shepard's eyes.

_May as well_, he thought before asking, "What is that aroma?"

"What?" The Commander looked surprised, but not put off.

"When you came back to the Mess from wherever you went you brought a smell with you. It isn't bad… I just, can't put my finger on where I've smelled it before. What is it? I'm sorry if that's rude I just- You know, investigator's instinct and all that." He was rambling even more than usual with his tongue loosened by alcohol. "I'll… just stop. Talking. Forever."

Shepard carefully looked around at the other crew members in the area before turning her sights back to Garrus. Wordlessly, she grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the elevator to the Cargo Bay.

"Where are we-" he began before the woman on a mission _shushed_ him.

As soon as they were on the elevator and the doors had closed, the very puzzled Turian attempted to speak again, "I'm sorry if I-"

"You didn't do anything wrong Garrus," she sounded more matter of fact than anything. "I'm just showing you where the smell came from. Nobody has ever noticed before, I'm usually so careful."

"Turians have a strong sense of smell," he offered.

The elevator doors opened and Shepard took his hand again, though this time it wasn't really necessary as he would have followed her to the next location without any trouble. "That would explain it," she replied as she pulled him along toward engineering. His hand was gloved as he usually wore his armor even during his downtime. Shepard's was uncovered, so he took the opportunity to really inspect it. It had _five fingers. _It was tiny and only really covered the palm of his own hand. She had tiny square talons that didn't look like they'd do much damage. There was a small brown dot on one of her fingers. It was quite a bizarre thing to behold, and yet he still wondered what it would feel like if he wasn't wearing his gauntlet. The appendage in general looked dainty and breakable which made him chuckle internally because of the force with which that small thing was dragging him to… wherever they were going.

"We're here," Shepard released his hand.

"Where?" He looked around. It was a small room with lots of ventilation, a trash compactor, a sink with soap, a chair and a spray bottle of something. "I don't understand."

"This is a test of your secret keeping abilities Garrus Vakarian. I don't know why- well I _do_ know why, it's because I'm drunk- but I'm going to let you in one of my biggest secrets," she put her diminutive hand on his shoulder armor. "I'm trusting you here." She was half joking and half deadly serious.

What could it be that she'd be guarding so closely? What did it have to do with this room and that smell? Shepard reached under the chair to free up a small box from which she took out a cigarette and lighter.

"You smoke!?" The connection between the smell he had been detecting earlier and the cigarette clicked into place. He knew a couple of human C-Sec officers who smoked back on the Citadel. The Turian didn't know much about it other than it had a social stigma and was considered 'a nasty habit.' Supposedly it used to have a number of negative health consequences, but these days those had mostly been bred out of the plant they smoked.

"Only when I'm really stressed out. Or when I drink. I probably smoke about a pack a year." She paused to try and assess how he was reacting to her confession. "I swear to god if you tell anybody," she ended the thought without a distinct threat. "No one on the ship knows. Not even Kaidan knows. He'd probably freak out if when he realized that I'm not so perfect after all." Even though he didn't voice it, Garrus was inclined to agree.

"I'm surprised Shepard, but I'm not going to say anything." He didn't really have a reason to tell anyone. Besides, even if he did, he was the only one the Commander had let into her inner sanctum. He was the only person she was letting see this part of her persona. Why would he betray that?

Also, somewhere deep inside the fact that the rule-abiding Blue wasn't always so strict pleased him. Maybe she did understand his penchant for rule bending, even if she didn't always agree. It was strangely comforting.

"Turians don't smoke?" she asked still holding the red and white box and silver lighter in one hand.

"Not as a rule. We don't… have much of a sucking ability. You know, rigid mouths." He attempted to move his mouth and push out his "lips". They had limited mobility so the plates only shifted a tiny, barely noticeable amount.

Shepard considered this for a moment before flashing a smile and nodding.

"What is this place anyways?" He hadn't been paying attention to where they were going.

"We're in an old work area in Engineering that isn't used anymore. Captain Anderson showed it to me when I first came on board the ship. I figured it had all the makings of a great secret smoking room, since nobody else uses it anymore. I'm pretty sure nobody else even remembers it's here." She began putting the cigarette back in its pack.

"You're not going to smoke it Blue?" Garrus shifted his weight and crossed his arms, a look of amusement on his face

She laughed, "Still not used to that nickname. No, I wasn't going to smoke it. I've already had one and I don't want to drive you screaming from the room. Plus I haven't smoked in front of another person in like six years."

"I've never seen someone smoke a cigarette, so I'm kind of curious as to what's involved. I don't think I'll mind the smell and I'm not going to judge, so quit being embarrassed and just smoke the damn thing. Though I'm not going to be supportive if it becomes a regular thing, if that makes you feel better," his mandibles flared into a wide Turian grin.

"It does actually," she eyed Garrus carefully. "_Fine! _ You talked me into it," she proceeded to take the cigarette out the pack, stick it between her teeth and light it.

"I really had to twist your arm, I can tell," humor still danced in his voice.

And that was how Garrus Vakarian became the first person to see Commander Shepard smoke a cigarette in over half a decade.

* * *

Noveria was very, _very_ cold. If there was one thing that could make Garrus Vakarian whine like a baby it was the cold. Turians in general ran hotter than many other species, since Palaven was a coalescent planet. His armor kept his body fairly comfortable, but the frigid temperatures hit his face like needles, and they weren't even outside yet. How could the other Turians stand it? Hell, for that matter, how could the humans and other races that lived on Noveria stand it? It was miserable and Garrus was itching to get off this icy rock. There was _actual_ snow here! Why would anyone, even a human, decide to colonize this death trap? He cursed himself for not thinking to bring any heat packs for his face. He could put his helmet on if they had to spend any time out in the snow.

As they drove through the desolate landscape toward the Binary Helix facility, the atmosphere in the Mako was heavy. Garrus sat in the gunner's seat helping Shepard cut down the Geth that threatened their mission, but there was no joy in it. Everyone in the vehicle knew what was waiting for them once they reached their destination. Garrus hadn't spent much time with Liara yet, but he knew enough about the young Asari to realize that no matter how things went with her mother it was sure to be an ordeal for her. From the intel they'd gathered about the Matriarch, this mission was likely to end in confrontation and Garrus didn't relish the thought of putting a bullet between her eyes.

Maybe the melancholy that hung in the air was keeping the trio from performing at their best, but before long the Mako was taking massive damage from their Geth adversaries.

"Shit, Garrus, we need to dust those heavy turrets quick! Take over the canon! They're punching holes right through our shielding!" Shepard barked with a growl in her voice that Garrus had never noticed before.

"Yes, Ma'am!" The officer attempted to make up lost ground with their heavy weaponry, but things were already looking bleak for their vehicle.

Liara did her best not to shriek as their transport shuddered closer and closer to the ledge. A deep canyon lay beyond the edge that would mean certain death for the party if they were to be shoved in.

"Shepard…!" Garrus began before the driver's side wheels edged over the cliff causing the Mako to drop a couple of feet. "Shepard we have to…!" The car began a slow slide that would very quickly send them tumbling over. "We have to get the hell out of here!"

Shepard struck the wheel with her fists a couple of times while a guttural scream that made the Turian tremble pushed through her mouth. Her sleek black hair was the most tousled that Garrus had seen it. "Everybody out, now! Be ready to fight, those Geth aren't going to let us off easy.

"I don't need to be told twice," Liara agreed, more fear than humor in her voice. Shepard led everyone to shift their weight toward the right side of the Mako which temporarily kept it from descending any further over the ledge.

After awkwardly navigating their way out of the cab through sniper bullet fire and a stray missile, the crew saw the Mako, no longer weighted to keep it from toppling, fall into the crevasse and out of sight.

_Spirits_ it was cold. The frigid air slapped against the Turian's face so violently that he almost couldn't move. In the chaos of abandoning their ride none of them had thought of grabbing their helmets. It was a stupid oversight. What was that human phrase…? Out of the oven and into the freezer?

A bullet whizzing by his head motivated him to get over his severe discomfort, get out his rifle, and find cover. He ducked in back of the same rock Shepard was hiding behind.

"I'm going to go take out that armature. You got my back Vakarian?" Even in their desperate situation, some levity had returned to her voice.

Garrus's movements were slowed by his sudden plunge into the sea of freezing wind, but he would do everything he could to cover the Commander's final assault on the last of the Geth. "Of course, Shepard," he confirmed with as much energy as he could muster.

As soon as Shepard exited her cover, Liara, safely in her own cover closer to the armature, sent a supporting biotic singularity to suck the smaller Geth units out of the Commander's path. Shepard continued her pursuit of the bulky four legged machine, completely ignoring the mess the singularity had wrought. Garrus knew that was his cue to pick off the tangled Geth that Liara's trap had caught.

Several more determined steps brought Blue right to the feet of the huge armature. She looked even tinier than usual by comparison. Finished dispatching the other Geth, Garrus turned his attention to the giant monstrosity, careful to watch the Commander's movements and make sure she wasn't going to enter his line of sight by accident. Shepard was circling the giant Geth, unloading a continuous barrage of shotgun fire. Occasionally the armature would attempt to fire a missile at her, but she was too fast and too small for it to find its aim.

She continued this strange dance until the Geth had its back turned to Liara and him. The armature was still on its feet but looking worse for the wear when Garrus noticed the Commander had stopped firing. He swung his sight onto Shepard to see what was amiss and it was obvious from his vantage point that her shotgun had overheated. Fortunately, she had other talents that could solve this sort of problem.

Shepard stared the armature down, drawing her fist back and building a blue biotic energy field around it. To the Geth's credit it, too, was drawing energy into its eye, readying yet another projectile. Garrus continued launching sniper fire into the machine but he knew that it was up to Shepard to take the thing out. Energy was rippling around the Commander's entire body as Garrus glanced back at her, and all at once she unleashed the biggest biotic blast he'd ever had the pleasure of witnessing. It literally threw the armature into the air, twisting as if in slow motion. The tremendous machine made almost a full rotation before landing heavily on its back. Unfortunately for the Turian sniper, who wasn't currently completely in cover, the Geth released one last missile, and it was headed right toward him.

* * *

Commander Shepard had almost let out a triumphant yell upon her hard-earned victory over her opponent when she realized where that last rocket had ignited. Instead, she released an anguished cry and began running back to where she and her Turian cohort had shared their cover just minutes earlier. Her armored legs sprinting as fast as they could, she hurdled over the lifeless carcasses of fallen Geth, all the while keeping her eyes on the rock that hid Garrus from her sight. Shepard didn't notice she had left her prized shotgun behind, or that Liara was also making her way toward the officer, and she definitely didn't notice the toll the low temperature had begun to take on her tired body.

After what seemed like ages Shepard made it back to where the officer was propping himself up against the rocky shelter. Liara was tending to him, but he didn't look _that _ hurt, all things considered. Relief lightened the knot that had formed in the Commander's gut before she asked, "Jesus, are you all right Garrus? It looked like you'd be in pieces back here." She couldn't help but joke.

His pale blue eyes flashed at her as he laughed, but his laughter quickly morphed into slow coughs, "Well…" he drawled lethargically, "The good news is that I am indeed, _not _in tiny little pieces."

Her heart dropped, "And the bad news?"

"The bad news is that I have hypothermia. The missile left me pretty much untouched but my armor has a hole in it," he gestured toward an obvious hole in the side of his armor. "Now…" he lost his train of thought for a moment before finding it again, "That _normally _wouldn't be that big of a deal, but damn if it isn't letting cold air in fast. Really fast." Shepard could tell from her limited medical training that his breath was slowing, and that was definitely a _bad _sign.

Liara bit her lip with worry, "Turians don't do well in the cold Shepard, we need to get him out of here. I tried calling Joker, but he didn't answer."

Shepard pressed on her communicator's button frantically, "Joker, are you out there?"

All she heard on the other end of the line was static. Then after a few long moments, "Shep. Shep-rd. Shepard? I can hear you- sort of. We're get- some inter-rence from this crazy ass we-ther," the pilot finally answered.

"We need a pickup now! Vakarian is down and fading fast. Tell Chakwas to be ready in the infirmary for Turian hypothermia." She turned away so neither Garrus nor Liara could see her desperation. "Seriously," Shepard was starting to lose her steely edge as tears began welling in her eyes, "You have to get here fast."

"Yea-, Gar- -own. Be there in -ive. Hold -ight." Joker was even more broken up this time, but at least it sounded like he had locked on to their location.

She turned back toward the other members of her team. Like Shepard, Liara's teeth had started to chatter and her whole body was shaking. Garrus was unnervingly still, but conscious.

The Asari scientist stood suddenly, "I need to move around Shepard, I'll go watch for the Normandy." Without waiting for permission, Liara went toward the canyon edge.

The Commander stifled her earlier sadness and forced out a anemic laugh as she approached Garrus. "Think you can handle five more minutes out in this light dusting of snow Vakarian?" Her joke had seemed appropriate and funny in her mind, but as it emerged into harsh reality it felt forced and not very amusing.

"Five minutes… I could do five more hours Shepard," his voice dripped out like molasses, slow and sticky. Somehow, even while suffering the symptoms of severe hypothermia Garrus Vakarian was still funnier than she was.

"Can you move Garrus? You aren't shivering. It doesn't feel great, but it'll help keep me from becoming a popsicle like you," she approached the Turian and sat down next to him, learning up against the rock. Her shoulder connected with his.

"If only. Turian's don't shiver, Blue. Why would we need to? We aren't…" his voice trailed off, "Supposed to…" The Turian's head began to slump over.

Determined to keep him awake Shepard reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. "Supposed to what Vakarian?" The Commander noticed a loud engine rumble approaching, but she didn't turn to assess whether it was friend of foe. She kept her focus completely on keeping Garrus from falling into a potentially fatal sleep.

He started back to life, "What? Supposed to what? I don't know," he looked into her eyes, "I never noticed, your eyes… they're green."

That kind of sentimentally during such a extreme situation _did _make Commander Shepard legitimately laugh. "Yep, they're green all right. That is factual." She noticed she was losing his attention again, "And yet you call me Blue." She tried to make her voice as animated as she could manage, almost as if she were speaking to a child, "Blue would be more fitting for you, now that I think about it. You have the blue eyes, and the blue tattoos, and the blue armor. You're much more blue than I am." Just keep him talking. Just keep him awake. Please.

"You're more Blue than Red… at least." He was beginning to speak nonsense and that scared her. "Why are there two of you Shepard?"

"Two of me? There's only one of me that I know of," as she finished her sentence Garrus's head lolled again. This time he slumped over until his head was nestled between her shoulder and neck guard.

Gently, Shepard attempted to wake him again, but it wasn't working a second time. At that very moment she saw the blurry outlines of Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams, armored and holding a gurney in the snow.

Hopefully it wasn't too late.

* * *

**A/N - Welp! Thanks for being so patient. I am particularly proud of this chapter. I hope you guys are still enjoying. I am already half-way through Chapter 4 right now, so hopefully I'll have it up within the week. Thanks again to my fantastic and thorough Beta, who also drew the picture I am using for this story! You're great! **

**As always I would love to hear from you guys in the critiques!**


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